Shhhh.
But word is out that there's a chance for a local snow sighting, perhaps sometime late Monday night or possibly early Tuesday morning.
You know. While you're still in bed.
But the very suggestion of snow is getting some people excited. Sid Proctor, the acknowledged amateur guru of weather prediction from Welcome (he's amazingly accurate) has written in his latest Facebook post on Saturday that "Our first chance of a snow event is in the forecast late Monday into Tuesday." He then goes on to talk about polar vortexes and low pressure systems that involve North Carolina. He provides convincing weather maps and graphs. It could happen, I guess.
(Keep in mind that we didn't get so much as a flake of dandruff last winter, much less snow.Yay, I say. No snow is one reason why I moved south from snowbound Pennsylvania.)
Anyway, some people around here have taken hope of finally seeing some snow after going a whole year without it.
And they're doing anything they can to encourage it.
"Oh, God. Let there be snow."
I think she's done this for years.
I'd never heard of this snow ritual before. I thought it might be a Southern thing, but my southern-born wife, a native of Lexington, said she never heard of doing this, either.
So I Googled "white crayon for snow" just to see if there was such a thing, or if it was something only my neighbor knew about. And practiced. Religiously.
And, lo, not only was there an explanation for the white crayon ("...if you put white crayons on your window sills then you could possibly see a picture of snow outside your window the following morning."), there was a whole list of tricks to encourage Mother Nature to shake her flakes.
More of those in a moment.
It's not clear to me whether one white crayon on one window sill is enough to bring on a snowfall, or if you have to put a white crayon in every window of your house. My friend lives in a large house with hundreds (seemingly) of windows. She might not be doing enough.
There are other avenues to follow:
Wear your pajamas inside out. This one makes absolutely no sense to me, but apparently it's regarded as one of the most accurate of snow superstitions. But I, for one, refuse to wear my boxers inside out...
Sleep with a spoon under your pillow. Okay. This one doesn't make much sense to me, either. Plus, the spoon has to be frozen. That's a no-go right there.
The spoon thing might be used in conjunction with Place a spoon (or white crayon) in the freezer. You don't have to sleep with it. Just leave it in the freezer.
Those last two suggestions give me a whole new dimension to spooning that I can't now get out of my head. And I used to like spooning...
Flush ice cubes down the toilet. Not sure what the root source is behind that one, either. A similar plan is to throw ice cubes on your porch, but I see some liability issues there.
Brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. This makes no sense. What if you're amphibious (ambidextrous)? No chance of working.
Sleep backwards. At first glance, I didn't know what they were going for here. But apparently if you sleep with your head at the foot of your bed, you get snow the next day. Presumably you do this wearing inside-out pajamas. Or boxers.
Snow dance: This one might have some substance. Native Americans, specifically the Southern Ute Tribe in Colorado, are said to do this. So does Snoopy in A Charlie Brown Christmas.
Run around the dining room table five times: We got yelled at as kids when we ran through the house, so I see no hope for this one. I sure am not doing this as an adult. Vertigo.
Shake a snow globe: Of all the non-scientific related-to-weather rituals there are, this one makes the most sense to me. Seems obvious.
I don't know. Maybe you have to do all of these things at the same time.
I have this fear I might go up to Weathervane Winery in the next few weeks and see white crayons in all of Sid Proctor's windows. Yikes.
As a child of the North, I loved snow when I was a kid. We built snowmen and snow forts and had ginormus snowball fights all day long. Plus, it got us out of school. Even to this day, I like to watch a silent snowfall, as long as it melts when it hits the ground.
But the moment I had my own car, my view of snow changed drastically. Driving in the snow in your $30,000 vehicle amongst all those other crazy drivers who know nothing about driving in the snow – even in Yankeeland – is harrowing.
I can't remember if we had rituals to prevent snow. Like heating spoons and putting them under your pillow. Or green Crayola crayons on the window sill.
I think I'll just take Sid Proctor's word for it. He is, after all, da (snow) man.
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