Faux audit

Does it get any more bizarre than this?

After it was announced Friday afternoon by the Arizona State Senate that its six-month long election "forensic audit" determined that Joe Biden did indeed win the presidential election in Maricopa County – in fact, finding Biden an additional 99 votes than in the certified vote count – former President Donald Trump claimed last night that the audit proved that he, Trump, actually won in the county.

"We won at the Arizona forensic audit yesterday at a level that you wouldn't believe," Trump said in a rally in Georgia.

He's right. I don't believe him. I never have. 

More audits are planned for other states, even though they'll probably confirm the same thing that Arizona did. Some suggest it's Trump's 50-state plan, designed mostly to keep his funding faucet alive.

So here we go again. Trump completely twists the truth like Atlantic City salt-water taffy, right before our very eyes, even when evidence clearly shows otherwise. It's how he placates the perceived grievances of his base. It's how he raises funds. This five-year onslaught on the truth has sent us running for the protection of our partisan camps, further dividing the country like it hasn't been since the Civil War.

Neither side can agree on what the truth is. Truth, as always, is in the eye of the beholder. But truth requires evidence. It requires analysis. It requires common sense. It does not require party fealty. Trump, by contrast, requires loyalty to his cult, not to the Constitution.

Trump almost always never offers evidence to his claims. All he provides is more grievance politics for his white nationalist base.

The problem, of course, is that our democracy as we know it is now dangling by a thread. The ability to vote, perhaps our most sacred Constitutional institution, is being challenged and altered like never before, even in spite of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Instead of making it more difficult to vote, as many GOP-controlled states are doing, it should be made easier. Isn't that what democracy is all about? Do you believe in democracy? Or is it about autocratic power? That's the choice we've come to. That's the choice we have to make.

This quest for autocracy is what brought us Trump's Big Lie about who won the last presidential election. It's what brought us the horror of January 6. It's what has transformed the Republican Party into the Party of No, simply existing to veto any Democratic proposals, many of them incredibly popular, without offering any ideas of its own. Want proof? Where is the Republican health care plan?

Infrastructure needs immediate attention, as evidenced by yesterday's Amtrak derailment in Montana. The debt ceiling needs congressional attention, as does immigration. Everything, it seems, needs attention.

The last thing we need are more faux audits to prove what we already know.

And that's the truth.

Assault by battery

 The last thing I ever expected to see was the eye-catching red battery light come on in my car.

That's never happened to me before. Ever. But here we were, on Route 421 just outside of North Wilkesboro on our way to Blowing Rock for Art in the Park weekend, and my dashboard was telling me to pull over. "Battery not charging," screamed the panic-inducing message. "Pull over safely."

Whaaa...??

I halfway expected the message to continue: "Do it now, or else!"

How could this be? My Volvo S60 is less than four years old. It has just under 23,000 miles on it. 

Kim said to pull off at the next exit and call the Volvo dealership in Winston-Salem. But whatever you do, don't turn off the car.

I rely on Kim for many things, and one of them is her rational calm in stormy seas. Where does that come from? I mean, I've already jumped off the Titanic here while she's rowing around in a lifeboat looking at seagulls and icebergs.

But I called Volvo Cars Winston-Salem and explained what was going on.

"Can I make it back to Winston?" I asked.

A Volvo alternator.

 "I don't know without doing a diagnostic," said Todd, the service manager. "It sounds like it's either a battery cell or an alternator, but I just don't know. Where are you?"

I told him we were outside North Wilkesboro on our way for a much-needed weekend retreat. I told him I was going to try and make it to Winston. He told me the car could quit on me at any time. I told him I was coming anyway. He said they would be expecting me.

So we turned around. We were about 40 miles away. I turned off the radio. I turned off the fan. I turned off the daytime running lights. Anything to save whatever charge was left in my battery.

And, lo, in about a half hour, we had arrived.

"Don't turn off the car," said Kim, and I didn't.

The service manager came out and said they would do a diagnostic, which I figured would take at least an hour as we saw dollar signs ka-chinging in our heads while stewing in the waiting room. Some vacation.

But 15 minutes later, he called us out. "Come with me," he said and I thought, oh-oh, the Titanic was going down for sure.

"We did the diagnostic," said. "It's your alternator. Somehow, the pulley unthreaded itself from the alternator and came off. This is designed never to happen. Our mechanic has been here since 1985 and he said he's never seen anything like this before. You were driving only on the charge you had remaining in your battery. I doubt you could have made it much further.

"But we have to order parts," added Todd. "It'll be Monday before it's fixed."

Then, as if by magic, the sun came out. Doves flew in. Fireworks exploded. The Titanic resurfaced.

"I see here," said Todd looking at his computer, "that you still have about a month of your car's warranty left. This won't cost you anything."

I nearly cried. I could have kissed him, but, you know, Covid. 

But there was more.

It's Volvo Car's policy not to provide a loaner unless you purchased the car from them. We bought our car from Flow Volvo in Burlington. Uh-oh.

"I talked with our manager and told him your situation," said Todd. "And he agreed to let you have a loaner. Enjoy your weekend."

The loaner was waiting for us outside the office. We took all of our stuff out of our car, and put it in the Volvo S60 that had three-quarters of a tank of gas in it. We headed off to Blowing Rock for what turned out to be a spectacular weekend and we never looked back.

Some vacation.

•  •  •

(When we got home, I Googled "Volvo alternator" out of curiosity to see how much a new one would cost. A site, Repairpal.com, listed alternators between $945-$995, with labor adding another $150 or so. My neighbor said I ought to buy a lottery ticket right now, right this minute, before it's too late. Hmm...)

 

Texas

Perhaps the most pernicious aspect of the Texas anti-abortion bill (Texas SB 8), signed into law by Gov. Greg Abbott on Wednesday, is the one that allows private citizens to sue abortion providers – and anyone else – who helps a woman get an abortion.

We're talking about taxi cab drivers, Uber and Lyft drivers, persons who offer financial assistance to help pay for an abortion, or even someone talking about getting an abortion in the privacy of a whispered conversation with a supposedly trusted listener. It doesn't matter if the person seeking an abortion was raped or was the victim of incest, the resulting pregnancy, by this law, cannot be aborted.

If a plaintiff successfully wins such a lawsuit, said plaintiff can receive up to $10,000.

A person could make a decent living turning in friends or total strangers via anonymous tips on a Texas Right to Life "whistleblower" hotline. While some Texas legislators claim SB 8 will not devolve into spying on your neighbor because the law does not directly challenge the established law and constitutionality of Roe v. Wade, that's exactly what will happen. I mean, who's going to ignore the lure of a $10,000 bounty?

And this rat-on-your-neighbor policy smacks of Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy or Communist Russia of the 1930s. Is that what we've become?

Actually, we've already been there. The Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 also depended on citizen participation in the return of fugitive slaves to their supposedly rightful owners. Sometimes, bounties were paid for the surveillance and capture of people who wanted nothing more than personal liberty and autonomy.

It feels strangely familiar, doesn't it?

Enforcement of the Fugitive Slave Act was a precursor to the Dred Scott decision, which declared slaves to be little more than property. The Dred Scott decision, under Chief Justice Roger Taney, was one of the emotional touchstones leading to the Civil War.

SB 8 continues the slow-boiling war on women in this country in another effort to take away rights they clearly won with the landmark Roe decision nearly 50 years ago. Not only will abortion issues be put at risk, so will women's healthcare in general, I believe. Think birth control. Think uterine, ovarian and breast cancer screening, especially for the poor. This law, I think, will result in horrible collateral damage.

It's a law designed to set the country back at least 50 years, maybe more. Abortions will never go away, no matter how many laws you pass. They will be performed illegally. Or they will be self-administered with chemicals or medications, if not coat hangers.

And women will die.

And SB 8 is hardly representative of its constituency. Of the 150 members of the Texas Senate, 83 are Republicans. Of those 83 Republicans, only seven are women, and only three are persons of color. Meanwhile, 31 of the 67 Democrats are women, many women of color. So basically, it's white men telling women what to do with their own bodies. Again. As usual.

And why is this all focused on women? There is a male involved with every abortion.

Keep in mind that nationally, polling shows nearly 70 percent of the country favors Roe. Consequently, we may be watching the efforts of a decided minority to challenge, if not bring down, the will of the people.

SB 8 last week got tacit approval from the Supreme Court when five of the nine justices allowed the law to go into effect without a ruling. Thus, SB 8 opens the door and provides a road map for other states so inclined to abolish abortion.

Instead of penalizing women who are already devastated over making a difficult decision, the abortion discussion should also include subjects like sex education, free birth control, adoption and severe sentencing for rape and incest.

Then maybe we can make real progress within the 21st century.