I keep forgetting that I'm 65 years old.
On either my second or third day enjoying my Silver Sneakers membership at the J. Smith Young YMCA, I ambled over to the ab crunch machine. I figured this was a good place to start working on those love handles.
So I started crunching, thinking that five sets of 10 crunches every other day would be doable. Especially at 30 pounds of resistance.
Two sets in, I laughed at 30 pounds. "This is too easy," I thought, setting the weight at 40 pounds.
Two more sets later, I felt a tremble go through my left 65-year-old gluteus maximus. I didn't think much of it at the time, but later in the day, an annoying dull pain settled in where I sit. I compensated by walking awkwardly.
That was three weeks ago.
Since then, there's been a persistent reminder in my left glute that 30 pounds was exactly the right weight setting.
I've tried various remedies that have come from both friends and Google: apply cold. Apply heat. Take Ibuprofen. Don't take Ibuprofen. Keep working the muscle. Stay out of the gym.
Well, here's what I've been doing. I take two Advil in the morning. I go to the Y and continue my calorie-burning workouts (I've lost about 10 pounds since my birthday back in February), which actually makes me feel good.
And I discovered the Y's sauna and the whirlpool. Ten minutes in the whirlpool with my gluteus maximus in front of a strategically aimed jet is nearly as effective as a massage, I guess. I just hope I'm not sitting there in the pool with a dopey grin on my face as the glute gets worked over.
I then sit in the sauna for about 10 minutes, where it's about 170 degrees. I'm not sure if it's doing anything for my glute, but I do feel cleansed. Then, in the early evening, I take two more Advil.
I'm guessing the healing is in progress. While I'm not ready to run any 5Ks just yet (or probably ever), the annoying pain seems to be diminishing.
And to remember that there's absolutely nothing wrong with crunching 30 pounds. Especially at this age.