An early gift

We've all had a miserable 2020.

My horrible 2020 actually began in September 2019. That's when I had a foot of my colon removed as a precautionary measure after an embedded polyp was discovered lurking deep in my bowels.

The polyp was discovered first by the non-invasive Cologuard procedure, and quickly confirmed by a more invasive colonoscopy, which was followed by the ultimately ultra-invasive surgery to remove the polyp. It was my first surgery. Ever.

Now, a year later – actually, more than a year later – it was time for my follow-up colonoscopy.

I was dreading it. While the prep for the procedure – the worst part – is nothing like it once was (it's now 64 ounces of Miralax mixed in Gatorade instead of some repulsive chalky solution, and done within 18 hours of the procedure), it's still an aggravating pain in the posterior.

There were other concerns. This would be my fourth time under anesthesia in the past 15 months (two colonoscopies, a colonectomy and an unexpected gall bladder surgery in February). Plus, I was going to be in a hospital in the middle of a Covid pandemic, which was not exactly reassuring.

And I was apprehensive, wondering if this colonoscopy would reveal another polyp – or worse – requiring yet another surgery. Why not? Apparently, I was on a roll.

But I wanted to get this behind me.

So I had the procedure done earlier this week, performed by Dr. Sundara Rajan. I like Dr. Rajan. He's got a stellar reputation; I covered his kids back in the day when I was a sports writer for The Dispatch and they were high school athletes; and, best of all, he was impressively board certified by the Royal College of Surgeons in England back in 1990. (I like to think there's a joke in there somewhere about him being a Royal pain in the butt, but I guess not. I might need him again sometime).

Anyway, when I came out of the IV-induced anesthesia, the first thing I was told – first from my wife, and then from the attending post-procedure nurse – was that there were no polyps, and that my next colonoscopy will be in five years.

And that news became my best Christmas gift of the season. Maybe ever. I was joyful. Christmas joyful.

Not all Christmas gifts come wrapped in a bow.