White House cage fight

I don't know which plague from heaven I am rooting for the most during the Presidential desecration at the White House this evening: the line of severe thunderstorms predicted for Washington DC, or perhaps the arrival of "extreme" clouds of pesky gnats that could possibly disrupt the event.

The Claw.*

 If the American judicial system can't put a stop to the UFC Freedom 250 mixed martial arts cage match on the South Lawn, maybe God can.

I'm always rooting for God. Maybe He'll throw in an earth tremor or two, just for effect.

I'm not kidding, you know. This unnecessary spectacle is the latest brain fart from convicted felon president and adjudicated rapist Donald Trump. He thinks it's the perfect way to kick off the celebration of the 250th birthday of our country, although I suspect he really thinks it's the perfect way to celebrate his 80th birthday (which is today). 

An attempt to block the cage fight was denied by a Federal judge Saturday, ruling that the plaintiffs – a retired political organizer and an Air Force veteran –  failed to show legal standing or "irreversible harm" from the match.

So now it's up to God. 

Anyway, in case you just beamed in from Alpha Centuri and missed all the excitement, Trump has built a cage-fighting monstrosity on the South Lawn of the White House (you know, where they usually land the presidential helicopters of Marine One).

Nitro Circus with Marine guard.*

 The complex features a massive 92-foot-tall overhead lighting structure dubbed "The Claw", which dominates the local landscape. Trump says he might make it permanent because he thinks it's as grand as the Eiffel Tower. Combined with the razing of the nearby East Wing and the subsequent construction of a controversial $400 million ballroom, it all stands as the perfect metaphor for the destruction of the concept we have of ourselves as a nation and our constitutional government.

Oh, yeah. And it cost $60 million to build. At least seven government agencies have been involved in the construction of the complex, even though the White House says no taxpayer money is involved. Yeah, right. You bet'cha. Because, you know, this is what I voted for. Not.

On Saturday, there was a pre-UFC Freedom event featuring motorcyclists doing trick jumps in the Nitro Circus under Marine guard at the White House. I wonder if there's a ribbon for that duty? I guess it's a blessing these Marines weren't deployed to Iran.   

And, as with anything Trumpian, you know there's got to be a profit somewhere for Trump and his family. Isn't it a bit curious that he is a key-player stockholder in the UFC? He owns stock in TKO Holdings, the parent company of the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) and WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment). Financial disclosures show that he purchased between $15,000 and $50,000 (your annual salary?) in TKO shares, which could increase exponentially after tonight.

Unless the gnats arrive.

I'm pretty sure somewhere there's a law forbidding presidents to enrich themselves while in office, but like everything else in the Trump administration, who cares? More cybercurrency! Trump needs to get richer! This is what I voted for! Not.

Meanwhile, the circus continues. Algae has returned to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, just days after its $14.2 million renovation was completed. Raise your hands if you want an arch to block your view of Arlington National Cemetery? Is there enough gold-plated decor in the White House? Do you like 4.3 percent inflation as much as Trump says he does? How about never-ending wars?

We have become a dysfunctional family as a nation. We no longer believe in science. We don't see value in empathy. Entitlements that helped us to rise above are now considered evil socialism. We've become neurotic over gender and paranoid over race.

Go gnats. 

*AP photo by Alex Brandon. 

 

Parking perplex

Kim and I tried out the new post office on Main Street yesterday. We had to. The old post office is officially closed now, and Kim needed to get a new set of keys for her company's post office box.

I no sooner pulled into the parking lot than I thought, "Uh, oh. How's this going to work?"

Rant on.

Parking situation is cramped at new post office.

 The parking lot design seems to represent the latest in minimalist parking lot architecture. It features head-in angled parking with spaces for about 12 cars on the right side of the lot and eight cars on the left. The trouble is that there might be five yards (13.3 feet by my measurement) separating the back-up space through the middle of the lot. In other words, customers will be competing for their opportunity to back up with folks parking opposite from them.

This kind of parking-lot forethought requires the complete attention of the driver, who may have just opened a summons to appear in court, or received a heart-rending sympathy card, or an unexpected tax bill, or some other distraction.

So much for having the full attention of the driver. Plus, backing up isn't the easiest of maneuvers to pull off. I'm not sure what has been constructed here is any better than the old post office lot, which required people to back up into moving traffic on West Second Street.

An accompanying issue is that the entrance to the new lot off Main Street requires that you drive down a short ramp and then make a quick left turn toward the parking slots. You know, just in time to meet somebody else who is backing up and who is trying to be careful not to hit the car backing up opposite him.

Can you imagine what this is going to be like at Christmas time? I might have to set up a lawn chair on the sidewalk on Main Street for this fiasco as I sip my hot chocolate.

Driving – and parking – is difficult at best. Why make it more difficult than it needs to be? 

But it's not just the post office.

Odd State Street entrance to First National Bank.

 First National Bank recently completed its new building on the corner of Center and State streets. Its parking lot has eye appeal, but it doesn't seem to be particularly customer friendly. Again, drivers must be extra cautious if they are backing out of some slots that are 90 degrees to each other.

Further complicating the issue is the State Street entrance/exit, which has a triangular island meant to invite entrance for drivers primarily in the northbound lane. But I've seen southbound drivers try to make the awkward turn around the island into the parking lot, sometimes waiting for oncoming traffic to start moving again as the nearby stoplight changes to green. This creates a dangerous bottleneck at the intersection of Center and State. Who designed this? When did aesthetics become more important than function?

Finally, the recent fire on Uptown's Main Street that destroyed two popular establishments – Shoto's Japanese Steakhouse and The Candy Factory – has forced the city to barricade that entire block of Main Street until the demolition of those buildings occurs. Nobody is quite sure when that will happen, but in the meantime, neighboring businesses are suffering from a lack of customers.

What?

It seems some people are complaining that there's no longer convenient places to park uptown because of the barricades and the subsequent rerouting of traffic.

What?

C'mon, people. Lexington's uptown is a walker's paradise. How hard is it to find a parking place and walk two or three blocks to your destination? You have no issue walking the length of the Barbecue Festival. You have no issue walking from store to store during Christmas. Why is walking a few extra steps a problem now? Kim and I live in the historic district and it takes us eight minutes to walk into town. And I'm 75 years old.

Rant over.