Every once in a while I'm going to post tidbits of the ridiculous, the sublime, and the ridiculously sublime that occur to me without notice.
• For example, several months ago, I was cited for not wearing my seat belt. It was the perfect storm of all the elements of this event had to converge at one location at one particular moment to make this happen.
I was on my way back from the grocery store, which is less than five minutes from my house. I had bought two cartons of ice cream — buy one, get one free.
As I'm traveling on Center Street toward my house, I notice a marked North Carolina State Highway Patrol car approaching Center from a lightly traveled side street. This in itself is unusual, since the Highway Patrol, as far as I know, very seldom comes within the city limits. Maybe he was on his way to somewhere else.
In any event, as I passed by him, he must have noticed I was without seat belt. Within an eyeblink, he was on Center Street and caught up to me, the ominous blue light winking at me just as I turned off on to Williams Street. I pulled into Dr. Ratton's parking lot, within agonizing sight of my back yard.
He politely asked me why I was not wearing my seat belt, and I told him I'd been in the car just a few minutes and was close to home. No excuse, I know. A law is a law. He said he was going to give me a citation. I waited patiently while he checked me out with his onboard computer and then printed out the citation. This all took about 10 minutes — my ice cream melting before my eyes. I almost asked him if he'd mind while I walked my ice cream home, since that's my back yard over there, but thought better of it.
A seat belt citation does not go against your insurance, as I discovered, but between the fine and the court costs, it does relieve you of about $125. Sigh.
What makes all of this so aggravating was that about a week ago I got a phone call from a representative of the Highway Patrol. I thought this was going to be some kind of follow-up report. Turns out, they were offering several levels of sponsorship to support our brave and loyal servants in gray who daily put themselves in harm's way and how much would I be able to contribute?
Are you kidding me? That was the wrong phone call at the wrong time.
• With the uprisings sweeping across the Islamic world, I got to wondering why Libyan dictator Moamer Kadhafi is still a colonel. He's been the country's leader for 30-plus years. C'mon. He can't give himself a promotion? Does that plateau in his pay grade affect his pension?As far as I know, this issue hasn't come up in Wiki-leaks yet.
• Cherry Yum Yum is an odd name for a dessert. If it's less than tasty, does it become Cherry Just All Right?